Widower: When Can I Stop Grieving?

There comes a time in your grieving process when you may ask, “Is it o.k. for me to stop grieving?” You may have survived wild swings in your psycho-emotional state and don’t know whether you can trust your healing. While one part of you is ready to leave the pain and sorrow behind, another part of you desperately wants to continue holding on to your spouse and your memories, which is in itself often painful. How do you reconcile your conflicting emotions and your need to advance beyond the most pronounced elements of grief?

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WIDOWER: BUILDING NEW RELATIONSHIPS

Loneliness, stress, and health issues abound after you lose a spouse. Women/widows often have a plethora of friends and family who will embrace and support them. However, men/widowers often have few if any close friends and family who will do the same for them. The best option for many of these widowers is to begin dating again and to establish new relationships to fill the void and need for companionship.

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Widower: Financial Land Mines

When your wife dies, the last thing that you are thinking about is your finances. Your psycho-emotional state is a mess, and you are often unready and unwilling to deal with the tedious facts of finances. And yet, a failure to confront your financial condition can come back to haunt you and seriously impact your future ability to re-engage with life and heal.

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Widower: Avoiding Downward Spirals

We often ask, “How can I survive this?” During these times, the siren call of alcohol and drugs may be strong. I was very tempted to drink more, to try some weed, or to take some pain pills. I thought this would help ease my pain and let me forget what I was experiencing. Unfortunately it had the opposite effect, leading to a downward spiral of ….

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Widower: Griever In Chief - Keeping the Family Together

Grieving can become a solo event, leading us to become so isolated and self-focused that we forget that our family and friends may be suffering as well. This can lead to further isolation and depression, not to mention the bridges you may burn with those you love the most. What you do next may determine your future relationships with those family and friends you care about the most.

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Widower: Reinventing Yourself to Live Again

A New Year’s message for my fellow widowers on reinventing yourself after losing your wife and much of your identity.

When Theresa, my wife of 45 years, passed just before midnight on June 29, 2015 I lost three of the four legs that formed the foundation of my life: my wife, family, job, and faith. Only my family remained. To add to my sense of loss, I felt as if half of my identity had been ripped away. What remained to define me and to serve as my foundation going forward?

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Widower: Embracing Your Grief to Heal

During my first few months of grieving the loss of my beautiful and loving wife of 45 years, the grief attacked me relentlessly. It would punch me in the stomach with a physical pain I had not experienced before. Then it would torment me with an emotional sense of loss that made me scream out as loud as I could. And finally, it would rob me of my sleep to the point of mental exhaustion which in turn led to delusions which make me think I was going crazy.

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