… What we do want to share with others is so emotional, so painful, and so personal that we just don’t know how to communicate it. Let’s be blunt, men are awful when it comes to talking about feelings, desires, fears, and doubts…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyJanuary 19, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Men’s Grief Groups, Stages of grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment

REINVENTING YOURSELF – TO SURVIVE AND HEAL!

As we said at every meeting of my online grief group, “It will never be the same again!” Nothing shakes up your world and self-identity like the loss of your wife… I felt as if half of my identity had been ripped away. What was left to define me and to serve as my foundation going forward?

At first, the answer was not much.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 5, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Death of Spouse, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower problems, Reinventing yourselfComment

Kafka's Doll - Processing Grief

Famous writer, Franz Kafka, once encountered a little girl in the park where he went walking daily. She was crying. She had lost her doll and was desolate…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 21, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Widower’s syndrome, How to heal after a spouse dies, Bereavement, Coping with death of wifeComment

WIDOWERS AS UNICORNS – HOW IT AFFECTS DATING

When you become a widower and begin to enter the dating scene, you may hear the term “unicorn” being bandied about by women you encounter during this period. I heard it often during the first couple of years after my wife passed.

Overall, this is a good thing!…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 8, 2025Fred Colby, Authordangers of dating for a widower, Changes to expect for widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Is a widower ready to date, Sex and WidowerComment

WHAT NOW? SENIOR’S HOUSING OR ASSISTED LIVING?

Erroneous advice often comes when we are at our weakest point while stumbling through our first year or two of grieving. We may be too weak to resist these suggestions… especially if they come from our family, close friends, or trusted advisors…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 10, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

IS CONTENTMENT POSSIBLE?

Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point. Many of us were fortunate enough to have achieved that blissful stage of existence… even if it was only for a few moments here and there…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 27, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, healing grief, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

BIG BOYS DO CRY!

Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” Many of us can probably sing a few verses. Well, like you, I learned the hard way that as widowers, BIG BOYS ALSO CRY! And we often find it to be a shock to our system.

Nothing can be more disconcerting for our sons and daughters than to see their father cry…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower blog, Widower, Widower EmotionsFred ColbyOctober 13, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, Stages of grief, Blogs for widowers, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Changes to expect for widower, widower problemsComment

LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP?

If you were as well trained as I was, you learned early on in your marriage to always put the toilet seat down! There is nothing that can earn the wrath of your wife more than going to the bathroom in the dark at night and sitting down on a piss-wet cold toilet base…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 2, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Changes to expect for widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower IsolationComment

TABOO TOPICS – PART 2

If you were fortunate enough to still share intimate moments with your wife before she passed, there is a good chance that you could experience intense desires for intimacy within days of her dying. And this can easily continue for months or even years…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyAugust 18, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower sexual behavior, Coping with death of wife, widower loneliness, healing grief, Is a widower ready to date, Sex and WidowerComment

TABOO WIDOWER TOPICS – Part 1

Most widowers, even the more extroverted of us, tend to shy away from discussing topics that seem too personal, too sensitive, or just plain uncomfortable. As men, we are trained to keep these things to ourselves. So we just don’t discuss them privately or in public. The negative effects of this are bad enough during normal times… but much worse when we become a self-isolated, lonely, grieving widower wallowing in our sorrow and thoughts at home…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyAugust 4, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Suicidal thoughts, Coping with death of wife, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

CRINGE-WORTHY WIDOWER BEHAVIOR

During our early stages of discombobulated, slightly psychotic, and often delusional widower behavior, we may find ourselves reacting inappropriately in public, private, and even intimate settings. These may cause intense emotional pain, self-condemnation, and further isolation. Others, knowing that you are suffering, may let it go. But you may be punishing yourself by revisiting your self-perceived “cringe-worthy” behaviors over and over again…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 21, 2025Fred Colby, Authorovercoming widower isolation, Deep grieving, healing grief, Grief therapyComment

ESCAPING TO CONFRONT YOUR GRIEF

As I sit here on the deck of a beautiful cabin set in Colorado’s White National Forest, I cannot help but think back to my visit here ten years ago, almost to the day. That visit was about ten days after my wife had passed after a six-month battle with uterine cancer.

I was not in a good mental or emotional place then,…

Widower Grief, Widower, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 7, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Bereavement, Coping with death of wife, Death of Spouse, healing grief Comments

DATING AGAIN?

Once you have decided to date again as a widower, prepare yourself for the shock of entering a dating scene that has changed dramatically since your younger days.

It helps to understand both the risks and benefits of entering the dating scene.

Widower blog, Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJune 23, 2025Fred Colby, Authorwidower problems, widower loneliness, When to start dating after death of spouse, dangers of dating for a widowerComment

IS SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS POSSIBLE AGAIN??

Don’t feel alone if you are thinking that you will NEVER be happy again… much less able to be successful again in important areas of your life. After losing your wife, life just does not seem to be worth living anymore.

However, immersing yourself in grief after your wife dies is unavoidable….

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJune 9, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Bereavement, Coping with death of wife, how to help a grieving widower, Idealization of spouse, male widowComment

REINVENTING YOURSELF – TO SURVIVE AND HEAL

As we said at every meeting of my online grief group, “It will never be the same again!” Nothing shakes up your world and self-identity like the loss of your wife….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMay 25, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Widower behavior, Widower health, Stages of grief, Changes to expect for widowerComment

8 NEWBIE WIDOWER MISTAKES

Any of the following newbie widower mistakes can create situations that often cannot be undone. They may lead to complicated grief or widower’s syndrome. To undo the harm already done, it may take years of therapy, mending fences, and corrective actions. And these difficulties often lead to growing issues with alcohol and drugs which can only make all other problems worse.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMay 12, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, widower loneliness, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Widower problems, Sex and Widower Comments

FRENCH KISS!

Why did I agree to meet “French Kiss” one cold winter’s morning?

After all, when I first started online dating via Match.com, I learned very quickly to avoid replying to the “friend requests” from cute young gals about half my age…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyMarch 31, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower dating, Behavior of a widower, Widower scams, Sex and WidowerComment

Your Brothers in Grief Can Help You

We feel so isolated and alone when we begin our grief journey. Not only do we believe no one can understand what we are going through, but we feel unable or unwilling to convey what we are going through to others. We are often desperate to have our wives back in our lives… and find ourselves in a deep void that is beyond our comprehension or ability to explain to anyone…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyMarch 17, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, widowers asking for helpComment

I COULD BE WRONG!

Don’t become the grumpy old man next door who is always growling at everyone because you think you are always right, and they are always wrong. Like the Tom Hanks character in the movie A Man Called Otto, you no longer have your wife to run interference for you or to smooth things over with those who you offend…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMarch 3, 2025Fred Colby, Authorwidower loneliness, widower anger, Behavior of a widower, Widower IsolationComment

YOU HAVE OPTIONS NOW! DO YOU WANT THEM?

When you first realize that you now have some unexpected options, you may not want them. They may scare you, embarrass you, or make you feel guilty.

Why? Because during the first few months of grieving the last thing you will want to think about are the choices that lie before you….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFebruary 3, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorCoping with death of wife, healing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

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