SURVIVING SELF-ISOLATION

Just when we are most vulnerable, just when we need human contact the most, and just when everything in our body and mind are screaming at us to hunker down and hide from everyone… this is when we need human contact and support the most…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 6, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Death of Spouse, healing grief, How a widower can keep their relationships, widowers asking for help, Reinventing yourself, What is a widower experiencing?, Widower behavior Comments

WHY EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IS CRITICAL

Widowers, you can’t think your way out of this one!

Usually our analytical brains put our IQ (abstract reasoning, memory, and problem-solving) to work to solve whatever new challenge we are facing. But when we lose our wives, these old standbys fail us. Instead we have to turn to our Emotional Intelligence (EQ) to make some sense out of our scary new reality… BUT, we often find our EQ is woefully inadequate because of years of neglect.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJune 22, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorAI and Therapy, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Deep grieving, healing grief, Stages of grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolation, widower problemsComment

GO TO THE LIGHT!

When you are in a long dark tunnel, and trying to find your way out… do you continue down deeper into the darkness or do you go towards that pinpoint of light in the other direction?

So often when we are buried in grief we have trouble figuring out which way is good and which way is bad.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJune 8, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Survivor's guiltComment

CAN AI HELP WITH THERAPY?

What happens when you turn to AI for help with serious mental health challenges? Can it offer meaningful support as you grieve the loss of a partner of 40 years? It may quickly identify your struggles and suggest ways to cope. It can even sound highly empathetic and reassuring. But as vulnerable widowers, we can be influenced in ways that may not serve our best interests.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, Widower supportFred ColbyMay 25, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Suicidal thoughts, healing grief, Therapy, AI and TherapyComment

WIDOWER'S FOG AND ANXIETY

Many, if not all of us, will experience what is commonly known as Widow’s/Widower’s Fog. Everything seems mushy and unclear, or you might feel unable to make decisions. You may be unable to concentrate on anything technical or challenging,…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMay 11, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Grief therapy, overcoming widower isolation, Reinventing yourself, Widower behaviorComment

ARE YOU GREEN, YELLOW OR RED?

As men we often just charge ahead and apply whatever solution we think is right based upon our own limited experience… no matter unhelpful it may be. Other times we may take the advice of a poorly informed friend or relative and take actions that are the exact opposite of what we should be doing…

Widower Emotions, Widower blog, Widower, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, Widower supportFred ColbyApril 27, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Death of Spouse, Grief therapy, How to heal after a spouse dies, how to help a grieving widowerComment

LIVING IN THE PAST?

When we first enter deep grieving after losing our wives, we desperately try to hold on to her. This can include (as it did for me) going through all the old photos, slides, and mementos to try and keep her close. This leads us to continue living in the past, and not engaging in the present… or future.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 13, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, depression, Bereavement, What is a widower experiencing?, widowers asking for helpComment

NEGATIVITY BIAS

When things are going badly, and certainly the death of your wife qualifies, it is easy to fall into a spiral of negativity. Whether you were inclined towards a negativity bias before or not, it is easy to think that:…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMarch 30, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, healing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Grief therapy, Widower memories, widower problems Comments

REJECTING FALSE GODS!

Whether you believe in God, Allah, Yahweh, or a spiritual universe, you probably have heard the phrase, “Don’t bow down to false gods.” When we are grieving, many false gods may tempt us and drag us into a pit of despair which can be hard to climb out of…

WE WILL CHANGE!

“We often don’t know how much something has come to define us until we lose it.” Maya Shankar, Cognitive Scientist

When our wives pass, we have no idea how much our lives are about to change. …

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, Widower supportFred ColbyFebruary 16, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Deep grieving, Reinventing yourself, healing grief, Death of Spouse, Changes to expect for widowerComment

BEFORE AND AFTER GRIEF COPING STRATEGIES

We are approaching Valentines Day which can often trigger even more pain, regret, and loneliness. Unfortunately, it follows our emotional roller coaster holidays. It’s like a grief train that won’t stop and let us off. What can we do to survive these and other grief inspired challenges?

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Emotions, Widower blog, Widower, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFebruary 1, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower scams, Men’s Grief Groups, Grief therapy, How to heal after a spouse dies, healing griefComment

LET YOUR BROTHERS IN GRIEF HELP YOU!

… What we do want to share with others is so emotional, so painful, and so personal that we just don’t know how to communicate it. Let’s be blunt, men are awful when it comes to talking about feelings, desires, fears, and doubts…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyJanuary 19, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Men’s Grief Groups, Stages of grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment

REINVENTING YOURSELF – TO SURVIVE AND HEAL!

As we said at every meeting of my online grief group, “It will never be the same again!” Nothing shakes up your world and self-identity like the loss of your wife… I felt as if half of my identity had been ripped away. What was left to define me and to serve as my foundation going forward?

At first, the answer was not much.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 5, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Death of Spouse, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower problems, Reinventing yourselfComment

WHAT NOW? SENIOR’S HOUSING OR ASSISTED LIVING?

Erroneous advice often comes when we are at our weakest point while stumbling through our first year or two of grieving. We may be too weak to resist these suggestions… especially if they come from our family, close friends, or trusted advisors…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 10, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

IS CONTENTMENT POSSIBLE?

Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point. Many of us were fortunate enough to have achieved that blissful stage of existence… even if it was only for a few moments here and there…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 27, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, healing grief, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

BIG BOYS DO CRY!

Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” Many of us can probably sing a few verses. Well, like you, I learned the hard way that as widowers, BIG BOYS ALSO CRY! And we often find it to be a shock to our system.

Nothing can be more disconcerting for our sons and daughters than to see their father cry…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower blog, Widower, Widower EmotionsFred ColbyOctober 13, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, Stages of grief, Blogs for widowers, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Changes to expect for widower, widower problemsComment

WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

Some of our best learning opportunities come from our worst experiences. I have had a few of those, and over time realized that I could learn something from each one….

You may have faced challenges like bankruptcy, losing your home, conflicts with loved ones, natural disasters, or a serious illness.

These experiences often come upon us suddenly and may seem insurmountable.

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbySeptember 15, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment

LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP?

If you were as well trained as I was, you learned early on in your marriage to always put the toilet seat down! There is nothing that can earn the wrath of your wife more than going to the bathroom in the dark at night and sitting down on a piss-wet cold toilet base…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 2, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Changes to expect for widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower IsolationComment

TABOO WIDOWER TOPICS – Part 1

Most widowers, even the more extroverted of us, tend to shy away from discussing topics that seem too personal, too sensitive, or just plain uncomfortable. As men, we are trained to keep these things to ourselves. So we just don’t discuss them privately or in public. The negative effects of this are bad enough during normal times… but much worse when we become a self-isolated, lonely, grieving widower wallowing in our sorrow and thoughts at home…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyAugust 4, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Suicidal thoughts, Coping with death of wife, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

8 NEWBIE WIDOWER MISTAKES

Any of the following newbie widower mistakes can create situations that often cannot be undone. They may lead to complicated grief or widower’s syndrome. To undo the harm already done, it may take years of therapy, mending fences, and corrective actions. And these difficulties often lead to growing issues with alcohol and drugs which can only make all other problems worse.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMay 12, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, widower loneliness, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Widower problems, Sex and Widower Comments

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