Posts tagged Stages of grief
GRIEF + HOLIDAYS = MELTDOWNS?
GRIEF + HOLIDAYS = MELTDOWNS?

I found myself in a predicament one Thanksgiving eight years ago. It surprised me. Suddenly my grief (which I thought was under control 1½ years after my wife’s death) re-emerged full force. I escaped to my master closet and sunk down to my knees as full-on sobbing took over. For maybe five minutes I just let it run its course, and then suddenly it was over…

Read More
Widower Emotions, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower blogFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorWidower and the holidays, Stages of grief, Changes to expect for widower, Deep grieving, healing grief, overcoming widower isolation, Coping with death of wifeComment
WHAT NOW? SENIOR’S HOUSING OR ASSISTED LIVING?
WHAT NOW? SENIOR’S HOUSING OR ASSISTED LIVING?

Erroneous advice often comes when we are at our weakest point while stumbling through our first year or two of grieving. We may be too weak to resist these suggestions… especially if they come from our family, close friends, or trusted advisors…

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Coping with death of wifeComment
IS CONTENTMENT POSSIBLE?
IS CONTENTMENT POSSIBLE?

Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point. Many of us were fortunate enough to have achieved that blissful stage of existence… even if it was only for a few moments here and there…

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, healing grief, How to heal after a spouse diesComment
BIG BOYS DO CRY!
BIG BOYS DO CRY!

Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” Many of us can probably sing a few verses. Well, like you, I learned the hard way that as widowers, BIG BOYS ALSO CRY! And we often find it to be a shock to our system.

Nothing can be more disconcerting for our sons and daughters than to see their father cry…

Read More
Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower blog, Widower, Widower EmotionsFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, Stages of grief, Blogs for widowers, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Changes to expect for widower, widower problemsComment
WHAT DID YOU LEARN?
WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

Some of our best learning opportunities come from our worst experiences. I have had a few of those, and over time realized that I could learn something from each one….

You may have faced challenges like bankruptcy, losing your home, conflicts with loved ones, natural disasters, or a serious illness.

These experiences often come upon us suddenly and may seem insurmountable.

Read More
Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment
ESCAPING TO CONFRONT YOUR GRIEF
ESCAPING TO CONFRONT YOUR GRIEF

As I sit here on the deck of a beautiful cabin set in Colorado’s White National Forest, I cannot help but think back to my visit here ten years ago, almost to the day. That visit was about ten days after my wife had passed after a six-month battle with uterine cancer.

I was not in a good mental or emotional place then,…

Read More
Widower Grief, Widower, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Bereavement, Coping with death of wife, Death of Spouse, healing grief Comments
Finding Your New Purpose Helps You Heal
Finding Your New Purpose Helps You Heal

…many of us feel lost and abandoned after our wives pass away. Our sense of purpose is often taken from us and we feel like a rudderless power boat spinning aimlessly on the ocean of life. It is scary, and for many of us, there do not appear to be any answers.

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFred ColbyhWidower Health, healing grief, Grief therapy, overcoming widower isolation, widower loneliness, Stages of griefComment
Widower Risk Factors – Part Two
Widower Risk Factors – Part Two

This is the second of two blogs on this topic. Part One outlined the Risk Factors, while Part Two deals with some solutions for the issues identified below.

There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues. Many, if not most of us (including me), have or will experience them at some point in our grief journey.

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower Health, widower loneliness, Stages of griefComment
Widower Risk Factors – Part One
Widower Risk Factors – Part One

This is the first of two blogs on this topic. Part Two will deal with solutions to each of the following issues.

There are several major risk factors faced by Widowers during their first year of grieving. Any of these can lead to life-threatening mental and physical health issues.

Read More
Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blog, Widower, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower Health, widower loneliness, Stages of grief Comments
Why Go To Group Therapy?
Why Go To Group Therapy?

On the evening of June 29, 2015, I began a journey for which I was ill-prepared. After holding my wife as she passed, I entered the grieving experience with no idea of what to expect along the way.

For the first couple of weeks, I experienced the “Numbing Period.”

Read More
Widower Grief, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, WidowerFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorMen’s Grief Groups, Widower’s syndrome, Widower information, Stages of grief, healing grief, Coping with complicated griefComment
Questions About New Relationships – Part 1
Questions About New Relationships – Part 1

Do you think a widower (with proper time for grief and healing) can go on to love another as much as the late wife? This question was posed to my by a therapist and doctoral student, who works with Couples in Conflict Management. This article speaks to this and other difficult questions for widowers.

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyFred Colby, Authorwidower building new relationships, Stages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Is a widower ready to dateComment
We Are Worthy!!
We Are Worthy!!

Whether quoting from Wayne’s World or the Bible, the phrase “I am not worthy” may describe how we feel at times after our wives pass away.  A ritual of self-condemnation and feelings of inadequacy often overwhelm us, especially when we are alone. It is so easy to fall into a pattern of blaming ourselves or others….

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Widower syndrome, healing griefComment
Why Are Some Widowers So Angry?
Why Are Some Widowers So Angry?

Shortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, years later, I no longer feel the anger I felt then. I now forget how easy it was to cut myself off from everyone and to let the anger and depression take over my life.

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Widower syndrome, Stages of griefComment
WHY DOES GERRY TURNER CRY SO MUCH?
WHY DOES GERRY TURNER CRY SO MUCH?

OK… I confess. My girlfriend enticed me into watching The Golden Bachelor in which 73-year-old Gerry Turner (a widower since 2017) meets, dates, and engages in numerous activities (dancing, 3-wheeling, Pickleball, and more) while trying to determine if one of 22 women “candidates” would be someone to spend the rest of his life with. In the process, Gerry frequently finds himself in surprisingly emotional circumstances… and often cries unashamedly on camera…

Read More
Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFred Colby, AuthorJerry Turner, Golden Bachelor, Stages of grief, Widower memories, Grief therapy, healing griefComment