… What we do want to share with others is so emotional, so painful, and so personal that we just don’t know how to communicate it. Let’s be blunt, men are awful when it comes to talking about feelings, desires, fears, and doubts…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyJanuary 19, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Men’s Grief Groups, Stages of grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment

REINVENTING YOURSELF – TO SURVIVE AND HEAL!

As we said at every meeting of my online grief group, “It will never be the same again!” Nothing shakes up your world and self-identity like the loss of your wife… I felt as if half of my identity had been ripped away. What was left to define me and to serve as my foundation going forward?

At first, the answer was not much.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 5, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Death of Spouse, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower problems, Reinventing yourselfComment

Kafka's Doll - Processing Grief

Famous writer, Franz Kafka, once encountered a little girl in the park where he went walking daily. She was crying. She had lost her doll and was desolate…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 21, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with complicated grief, Widower’s syndrome, How to heal after a spouse dies, Bereavement, Coping with death of wifeComment

WIDOWERS AS UNICORNS – HOW IT AFFECTS DATING

When you become a widower and begin to enter the dating scene, you may hear the term “unicorn” being bandied about by women you encounter during this period. I heard it often during the first couple of years after my wife passed.

Overall, this is a good thing!…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 8, 2025Fred Colby, Authordangers of dating for a widower, Changes to expect for widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Is a widower ready to date, Sex and WidowerComment

GRIEF + HOLIDAYS = MELTDOWNS?

I found myself in a predicament one Thanksgiving eight years ago. It surprised me. Suddenly my grief (which I thought was under control 1½ years after my wife’s death) re-emerged full force. I escaped to my master closet and sunk down to my knees as full-on sobbing took over. For maybe five minutes I just let it run its course, and then suddenly it was over…

Widower Emotions, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower blogFred ColbyNovember 24, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower and the holidays, Stages of grief, Changes to expect for widower, Deep grieving, healing grief, overcoming widower isolation, Coping with death of wifeComment

WHAT NOW? SENIOR’S HOUSING OR ASSISTED LIVING?

Erroneous advice often comes when we are at our weakest point while stumbling through our first year or two of grieving. We may be too weak to resist these suggestions… especially if they come from our family, close friends, or trusted advisors…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 10, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

IS CONTENTMENT POSSIBLE?

Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point. Many of us were fortunate enough to have achieved that blissful stage of existence… even if it was only for a few moments here and there…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 27, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, healing grief, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

BIG BOYS DO CRY!

Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” Many of us can probably sing a few verses. Well, like you, I learned the hard way that as widowers, BIG BOYS ALSO CRY! And we often find it to be a shock to our system.

Nothing can be more disconcerting for our sons and daughters than to see their father cry…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower blog, Widower, Widower EmotionsFred ColbyOctober 13, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, Stages of grief, Blogs for widowers, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Changes to expect for widower, widower problemsComment

WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

Some of our best learning opportunities come from our worst experiences. I have had a few of those, and over time realized that I could learn something from each one….

You may have faced challenges like bankruptcy, losing your home, conflicts with loved ones, natural disasters, or a serious illness.

These experiences often come upon us suddenly and may seem insurmountable.

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbySeptember 15, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment

LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP?

If you were as well trained as I was, you learned early on in your marriage to always put the toilet seat down! There is nothing that can earn the wrath of your wife more than going to the bathroom in the dark at night and sitting down on a piss-wet cold toilet base…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 2, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Changes to expect for widower, Coping with death of wife, Widower IsolationComment

TABOO TOPICS – PART 2

If you were fortunate enough to still share intimate moments with your wife before she passed, there is a good chance that you could experience intense desires for intimacy within days of her dying. And this can easily continue for months or even years…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyAugust 18, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower sexual behavior, Coping with death of wife, widower loneliness, healing grief, Is a widower ready to date, Sex and WidowerComment

TABOO WIDOWER TOPICS – Part 1

Most widowers, even the more extroverted of us, tend to shy away from discussing topics that seem too personal, too sensitive, or just plain uncomfortable. As men, we are trained to keep these things to ourselves. So we just don’t discuss them privately or in public. The negative effects of this are bad enough during normal times… but much worse when we become a self-isolated, lonely, grieving widower wallowing in our sorrow and thoughts at home…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyAugust 4, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Suicidal thoughts, Coping with death of wife, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

CRINGE-WORTHY WIDOWER BEHAVIOR

During our early stages of discombobulated, slightly psychotic, and often delusional widower behavior, we may find ourselves reacting inappropriately in public, private, and even intimate settings. These may cause intense emotional pain, self-condemnation, and further isolation. Others, knowing that you are suffering, may let it go. But you may be punishing yourself by revisiting your self-perceived “cringe-worthy” behaviors over and over again…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 21, 2025Fred Colby, Authorovercoming widower isolation, Deep grieving, healing grief, Grief therapyComment

ESCAPING TO CONFRONT YOUR GRIEF

As I sit here on the deck of a beautiful cabin set in Colorado’s White National Forest, I cannot help but think back to my visit here ten years ago, almost to the day. That visit was about ten days after my wife had passed after a six-month battle with uterine cancer.

I was not in a good mental or emotional place then,…

Widower Grief, Widower, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 7, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Bereavement, Coping with death of wife, Death of Spouse, healing grief Comments

DATING AGAIN?

Once you have decided to date again as a widower, prepare yourself for the shock of entering a dating scene that has changed dramatically since your younger days.

It helps to understand both the risks and benefits of entering the dating scene.

Widower blog, Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJune 23, 2025Fred Colby, Authorwidower problems, widower loneliness, When to start dating after death of spouse, dangers of dating for a widowerComment

IS SUCCESS AND HAPPINESS POSSIBLE AGAIN??

Don’t feel alone if you are thinking that you will NEVER be happy again… much less able to be successful again in important areas of your life. After losing your wife, life just does not seem to be worth living anymore.

However, immersing yourself in grief after your wife dies is unavoidable….

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJune 9, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Bereavement, Coping with death of wife, how to help a grieving widower, Idealization of spouse, male widowComment

REINVENTING YOURSELF – TO SURVIVE AND HEAL

As we said at every meeting of my online grief group, “It will never be the same again!” Nothing shakes up your world and self-identity like the loss of your wife….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMay 25, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower problems, Widower behavior, Widower health, Stages of grief, Changes to expect for widowerComment

8 NEWBIE WIDOWER MISTAKES

Any of the following newbie widower mistakes can create situations that often cannot be undone. They may lead to complicated grief or widower’s syndrome. To undo the harm already done, it may take years of therapy, mending fences, and corrective actions. And these difficulties often lead to growing issues with alcohol and drugs which can only make all other problems worse.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMay 12, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, widower loneliness, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Widower problems, Sex and Widower Comments

ARE YOU ALONE AND DESPERATE?

Half of our identity has been ripped away and the remaining void overwhelms us. We grew with, experienced success and failure with, and built a unified identity with our spouse. Without her we may now be desperate to fill this vacuum.

Fred ColbyApril 28, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorComment

You Can Heal Through Storytelling

I found that each time I told my (and Theresa’s) story I would heal… just a little bit. It helped me to allow others into my grieving without me or them being intrusive. I could be completely honest about what I and my daughters were going through while still allowing myself private time for my grieving. I found it freeing and therapeutic.

Widower support, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyApril 14, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, overcoming widower isolation, Coping with death of wife, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, widower lonelinessComment

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