YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING

I certainly don’t know everything! And… more than likely, neither do you.

One of the biggest shocks upon entering deep grieving as a widower is the realization of how ill-prepared we are to deal with it… much less survive it!…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 29, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Deep grieving, Healing GriefComment

OVERCOMING LONELINESS AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

… Men are not supposed to show grief, because we are men. I call BS on that one, and here is where our worlds overlap. Did you know that 80% of all suicides in America are committed by men? Read that again, and let’s go upstream and talk about mental health.

One of the risk factors for suicide is the loss of a relationship…. we must be on our A-game to guard against intrusive thoughts like suicide, and most of these occur when we are alone. So, let’s look at loneliness a bit…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyFebruary 5, 2024Fred Colby, Authorwidower loneliness, Behavior of a widower, Suicidal thoughts, Coping with complicated grief, Deep grievingComment

SINGLE UKRAINIAN WOMEN LOOKING FOR OLDER MEN!

Widowers are easy targets for those who would prey upon our loneliness and desperation for female companionship after losing our wives. These click-bait appeals are often specifically targeted towards older men who are single or widowed…

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJanuary 23, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Coping with death of wife, widower loneliness, Widower scamsComment

YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE

We widowers often hear that soon after the death of our wives we will lose many friends and possibly some family ties. This frequently occurs despite our best efforts to maintain these previously reliable and important relationships. This can result in…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 9, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorDeath of Spouse, Coping with death of wife, Widower’s syndrome, How a widower can keep their relationshipsComment

NEW YEAR - NEW YOU - NEW RELATIONSHIPS?

Often after our wives pass, another crisis will come along that shakes us and causes us to confront our current state of thinking about our life going forward. This may be just what is needed to wake us and point us into a more promising future…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 25, 2023Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, widower lonelinessComment

One Mississippi, Two Mississippi

Since your wife died, how often have you been thoroughly confused by the kindness of women towards you? How often have you, even though you know it is wrong, thought there might be something there? I am not embarrassed to tell you that I had many such instances….

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 2, 2023Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Widower’s syndrome, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, When to start dating after death of spouse, widower building new relationshipsComment

YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU THINK YOU CANNOT!

How often have you said or thought, “I can’t do that! I am not good at it and never will be.”… After your wife passes, you may be faced with doing many things that you think you cannot do.

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 5, 2023Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Widower’s complicated grief, Widower syndrome, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

I Don’t Want to Heal!

Are you floating in a sea of grief with only a life vest of memories keeping you afloat? If you are not careful that life vest can become a diving weight belt of anger, regrets, and fear that drags you down into depression…

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, WidowerFred ColbyAugust 21, 2023Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Stages of grief, widower embracing grief, Grief therapy, How to heal after a spouse diesComment

Are You Talking to Others?

After the loss of our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words… Learning to communicate with others again is not only vital for us to heal but also critical if we want to re-engage with life again in any meaningful way.

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief, Widower blog, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 10, 2023Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Avoiding Downward Spirals

We often ask, “How can I survive this?” During these times, the siren call of alcohol and drugs may be strong. I was very tempted to drink more, try weed, or take pain pills. I thought this would help ease my pain and let me forget what I was experiencing…

Widower, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMay 14, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, What is a widower experiencing?, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief Comments

Our Role Changes After Loss

When our wife passes, we suddenly lose our Home-Life as we knew it. If we are still working, we are often forgiven if we suddenly become buried in our Work-Life. This can be unhealthy and lead to medical, emotional, and mental issues which can spiral into major problems….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFebruary 24, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Widower Health, What is a widower experiencing?, Behavior of a widower, Widower Families, Healing Grief Comments

Relationship Challenges When Your Wife is Dying

A year prior to my wife’s passing, she began to experience some upsetting physical conditions, including skin rashes and stress. This continued for a while with her unable to determine the cause or to find solutions after visiting a couple of doctors.

Around that time, she began criticizing almost anything that I did….

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 12, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Death of Spouse, Behavior of a widower, Coping with complicated grief, Healing Grief, Grief therapyComment

What is My Purpose Now??

One day after a particularly bad night I was driven to take a hard look at myself and where I was going. It was not a pretty picture. After some deep thought and prayer, I came up with a clear purpose statement to guide me going forward…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 28, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, widower loneliness, widowed man, Healing GriefComment

Surviving the Holidays

Everyone will start to tell you within a week of your wife’s passing that you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days.

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 13, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Blogs for widowers, widower loneliness, Widower syndromeComment

First-Ever Date? Girlfriend? or Lover?

Was your wife the first woman/girl you ever:

· dated?

· kissed?

· asked to become your girlfriend?

· made love to?

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 30, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Is a widower ready to date, Behavior of a widower, widower building new relationshipsComment

8 Newbie Widower Mistakes

During the first year of being a widower, we often find ourselves:

· Unable to sleep more than 2 – 4 hours a night,

· Sinking into a depression with constant sobbing,

· Unable to determine what is real and what is unreal,

· Craving to have a woman in our lives,

· Losing focus on what we are trying to work on, or

· Unable to communicate with others.

Does this sound like a good place to be when trying to make life-altering decisions? Hell no!

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 19, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Behavior of a widower, Widower’s complicated grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower booksComment

Life After Death?

After our wife passes, many of us will ask the question we desperately want an answer to:

“Does she still exist? Is she still aware of me? Can she hear me or see me? Is there any way for me to communicate with her?”…

Widower Self Help, Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyJanuary 23, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower’s syndrome, What is a widower experiencing?, Death of SpouseComment

Widower Wearing Wedding Ring Sparks Huge Discussion

Have you ever been the one to make everyone in the room suddenly freeze, their puzzled sights pointed in your direction after asking something that seemed completely okay at the time?

When a 32-year-old woman by the username u/Ideal-Mind3099 decided to ask her new colleague “James”, a recent widower, about the wedding band on his finger – things went into an opposite direction from what she expected….

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower GriefFred ColbyJanuary 12, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, Widower syndrome, What is a widower experiencing? Comments

Be a Better Friend ... to Yourself!

So often during our deep grieving we fall into the trap of condemning ourselves, dwelling on our regrets, and/or doubting ourselves. Instead of celebrating the great marriage we had and honoring our wives, we turn on ourselves and focus on the negatives….