YOU DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING

I certainly don’t know everything! And… more than likely, neither do you.

One of the biggest shocks upon entering deep grieving as a widower is the realization of how ill-prepared we are to deal with it… much less survive it!…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 29, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Deep grieving, Healing GriefComment

WHAT CAN MATT AND BEN TEACH WIDOWERS?

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem an unlikely pair to be teaching Widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are a great example for us to follow….

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower support, Widower, Widower blogFred ColbyMarch 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!

Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband you were the “boss” in the family!

Ha.. ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! …

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, WidowerFred ColbyFebruary 19, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Healing Grief, widowers taking responsibility, Coping with complicated griefComment

Are You Talking to Others?

After the loss of our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words… Learning to communicate with others again is not only vital for us to heal but also critical if we want to re-engage with life again in any meaningful way.

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief, Widower blog, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 10, 2023Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

You Can Heal Now!

If you want to heal to survive this hell-on-earth experience, you will have to grow as a person… as a father, brother, son, friend, and/or community member. If you retreat from the world to stew in your grief and anger, that is where you will likely remain…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower blog, Widower, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJune 16, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, overcoming widower isolation, Death of Spouse, Men’s Grief Groups, Grief therapy, healing griefComment

Father's Day Message For Children of Widowers

If your dad is a recent widower, there are ways you can help him on Father's Day while also strengthening your family relationships. To ignore Father’s Day can be a missed opportunity, and even a mistake that injects another layer of separation between the father and children…

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyMay 30, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, overcoming widower isolation, Widower Families, Behavior of a widower, Father's DayComment

Avoiding Downward Spirals

We often ask, “How can I survive this?” During these times, the siren call of alcohol and drugs may be strong. I was very tempted to drink more, try weed, or take pain pills. I thought this would help ease my pain and let me forget what I was experiencing…

Widower, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMay 14, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, What is a widower experiencing?, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief Comments

I Was Supposed to Die First!

Almost every widower I have met, emailed, or spoken to has at some point said this to me. I certainly felt that way after my wife passed in 2015…This sense of feeling that “I should have died before she did” can lead to feelings of survivor’s guilt, as well as deep regret for not being able to “save” her.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 19, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, Behavior of a widower, Widower’s complicated grief, Widower’s syndrome, Death of Spouse, Survivor's guiltComment

Dating Game

Are you old enough to remember the Dating Game television show? A man or woman would sit on one side of a screen, while three suitors sat on the other side. The contestant would then ask a series of silly questions designed to bring out responses that would entertain the audience while the contestant tried to figure out which of the three was the best match for a date. Sort of a speed Bachelorette show, only with fewer tears.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and datingFred ColbyMarch 20, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Grief therapy, Is a widower ready to date Comments

Our Role Changes After Loss

When our wife passes, we suddenly lose our Home-Life as we knew it. If we are still working, we are often forgiven if we suddenly become buried in our Work-Life. This can be unhealthy and lead to medical, emotional, and mental issues which can spiral into major problems….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFebruary 24, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Widower Health, What is a widower experiencing?, Behavior of a widower, Widower Families, Healing Grief Comments

7 Steps Before, During, and After Her Death

You had a romantic wedding, celebrated the birth of children, and got comfortable with your happily-ever-after life. Then tragedy struck and you realized how fragile the human body can be. Suddenly, you faced the prospect of seeing the source of your happily-ever-after life take her last breath…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFebruary 5, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, anticipatory grief, Widower syndrome, How to heal after a spouse dies, Stages of grief Comments

What is Love Now?

After your wife dies you realize that your concept of love has transformed over the years into something much more powerful and meaningful. To expect that you can replicate that with a new girlfriend after dating her just a few times and within the first year after your wife passes is often illogical.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJanuary 22, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Is a widower ready to date, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief Comment

Grieving's Impact on Family Relationships

After my wife’s death, I became increasingly concerned about my ability to make sound decisions. At times the world around me seemed surreal… and I often wanted to shut the door on everyone and just hide in my grief.

As I began to recognize the impact of these issues on me, I became fearful that I would make bad decisions that might threaten my relationships…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 11, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, overcoming widower isolation, Widower’s syndrome, widower lonelinessComment

Relationship Challenges When Your Wife is Dying

A year prior to my wife’s passing, she began to experience some upsetting physical conditions, including skin rashes and stress. This continued for a while with her unable to determine the cause or to find solutions after visiting a couple of doctors.

Around that time, she began criticizing almost anything that I did….

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 12, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Death of Spouse, Behavior of a widower, Coping with complicated grief, Healing Grief, Grief therapyComment

What is My Purpose Now??

One day after a particularly bad night I was driven to take a hard look at myself and where I was going. It was not a pretty picture. After some deep thought and prayer, I came up with a clear purpose statement to guide me going forward…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 28, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, widower loneliness, widowed man, Healing GriefComment

Building Resiliency Despite Multiple Deaths

Two years after my wife’s death, almost to the week, my mother passed away. As I gathered with my five siblings to honor our mom, I could not help but notice the difference in the grieving process….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMarch 8, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Widower’s syndrome, widower loneliness, Healing Grief, how to help a grieving widower Comments

Financial Landmines

My father died when he was 33 years of age, so I realized the importance of getting my finances in order while still young… Eventually when I came out of deep grieving, I realized that everything about our finances had been structured for her survival, not mine.

Widower Self Help, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbySeptember 14, 2021Fred Colby, AuthorBlogs for widowers, Healing Grief, Widower’s syndrome, Widower behaviorComment

Widower: Maid, Cook, Concubine or Wife?

How do we know that our new friend is the “right one”?

In our messed-up psycho-emotional state it is so easy to make a bad decision and have our feelings dictated by wrong motives. It is easy to think that we want to marry this wonderful new woman we just met. (I know this from personal experience.)

Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 22, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, widower grief, Widower’s syndrome, Grieving, Healing Grief, widower building new relationshipsComment

Widower: Surviving Anticipatory Grief

If you experienced extended time as a caregiver for your wife, there is a good chance that you also experienced anticipatory grief. Expectation of imminent death can be both a blessing and a curse…..

Fred ColbyMay 23, 2020Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower isolation, Healing Grief, Death of Spouse, Widower help Comments

Widower: Self-Isolation – What Now With COVID-19??

If you are a recent widower, this blog is for you!

Widowers often are advised to avoid self-isolation. It is harmful to our physical and mental health…. But now we are being forced to isolate-in-place due to COVID–19. So, how the hell are we supposed to heal now??

Fred ColbyMarch 21, 2020Widower, widower grief, Grieving, Bereavement, Healing Grief, Widower Isolation Comment

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