GO TO THE LIGHT!

When you are in a long dark tunnel, and trying to find your way out… do you continue down deeper into the darkness or do you go towards that pinpoint of light in the other direction?

So often when we are buried in grief we have trouble figuring out which way is good and which way is bad.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJune 8, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Survivor's guiltComment

CAN AI HELP WITH THERAPY?

What happens when you turn to AI for help with serious mental health challenges? Can it offer meaningful support as you grieve the loss of a partner of 40 years? It may quickly identify your struggles and suggest ways to cope. It can even sound highly empathetic and reassuring. But as vulnerable widowers, we can be influenced in ways that may not serve our best interests.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, Widower supportFred ColbyMay 25, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Suicidal thoughts, healing grief, Therapy, AI and TherapyComment

WIDOWER'S FOG AND ANXIETY

Many, if not all of us, will experience what is commonly known as Widow’s/Widower’s Fog. Everything seems mushy and unclear, or you might feel unable to make decisions. You may be unable to concentrate on anything technical or challenging,…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMay 11, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Grief therapy, overcoming widower isolation, Reinventing yourself, Widower behaviorComment

MAID, COOK, CONCUBINE, OR WIFE?

We speak often about how alone and desperate we feel after our wife has passed. And we know how this can lead to horrible decisions that can ruin your life going forward. So, what happens when we meet a possible “new best friend”? How do we know that our new friend is the “right one?”…

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self Help, Widowers and dating, WidowerFred ColbyMarch 2, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Widower blogs, overcoming widower isolation, Stages of grief, Coping with death of wife, Sex and WidowerComment

LET YOUR BROTHERS IN GRIEF HELP YOU!

… What we do want to share with others is so emotional, so painful, and so personal that we just don’t know how to communicate it. Let’s be blunt, men are awful when it comes to talking about feelings, desires, fears, and doubts…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower supportFred ColbyJanuary 19, 2026Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, Men’s Grief Groups, Stages of grief, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment

REINVENTING YOURSELF – TO SURVIVE AND HEAL!

As we said at every meeting of my online grief group, “It will never be the same again!” Nothing shakes up your world and self-identity like the loss of your wife… I felt as if half of my identity had been ripped away. What was left to define me and to serve as my foundation going forward?

At first, the answer was not much.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 5, 2026Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Death of Spouse, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower problems, Reinventing yourselfComment

WIDOWERS AS UNICORNS – HOW IT AFFECTS DATING

When you become a widower and begin to enter the dating scene, you may hear the term “unicorn” being bandied about by women you encounter during this period. I heard it often during the first couple of years after my wife passed.

Overall, this is a good thing!…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Emotions, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 8, 2025Fred Colby, Authordangers of dating for a widower, Changes to expect for widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Is a widower ready to date, Sex and WidowerComment

GRIEF + HOLIDAYS = MELTDOWNS?

I found myself in a predicament one Thanksgiving eight years ago. It surprised me. Suddenly my grief (which I thought was under control 1½ years after my wife’s death) re-emerged full force. I escaped to my master closet and sunk down to my knees as full-on sobbing took over. For maybe five minutes I just let it run its course, and then suddenly it was over…

Widower Emotions, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widower blogFred ColbyNovember 24, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorWidower and the holidays, Stages of grief, Changes to expect for widower, Deep grieving, healing grief, overcoming widower isolation, Coping with death of wifeComment

WHAT NOW? SENIOR’S HOUSING OR ASSISTED LIVING?

Erroneous advice often comes when we are at our weakest point while stumbling through our first year or two of grieving. We may be too weak to resist these suggestions… especially if they come from our family, close friends, or trusted advisors…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 10, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, healing grief, Coping with death of wifeComment

BIG BOYS DO CRY!

Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” Many of us can probably sing a few verses. Well, like you, I learned the hard way that as widowers, BIG BOYS ALSO CRY! And we often find it to be a shock to our system.

Nothing can be more disconcerting for our sons and daughters than to see their father cry…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower blog, Widower, Widower EmotionsFred ColbyOctober 13, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, Stages of grief, Blogs for widowers, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, Changes to expect for widower, widower problemsComment

WHAT DID YOU LEARN?

Some of our best learning opportunities come from our worst experiences. I have had a few of those, and over time realized that I could learn something from each one….

You may have faced challenges like bankruptcy, losing your home, conflicts with loved ones, natural disasters, or a serious illness.

These experiences often come upon us suddenly and may seem insurmountable.

Widower Self Help, Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbySeptember 15, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Coping with death of wife, How to heal after a spouse dies, overcoming widower isolationComment

CRINGE-WORTHY WIDOWER BEHAVIOR

During our early stages of discombobulated, slightly psychotic, and often delusional widower behavior, we may find ourselves reacting inappropriately in public, private, and even intimate settings. These may cause intense emotional pain, self-condemnation, and further isolation. Others, knowing that you are suffering, may let it go. But you may be punishing yourself by revisiting your self-perceived “cringe-worthy” behaviors over and over again…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJuly 21, 2025Fred Colby, Authorovercoming widower isolation, Deep grieving, healing grief, Grief therapyComment

You Can Heal Through Storytelling

I found that each time I told my (and Theresa’s) story I would heal… just a little bit. It helped me to allow others into my grieving without me or them being intrusive. I could be completely honest about what I and my daughters were going through while still allowing myself private time for my grieving. I found it freeing and therapeutic.

Widower support, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyApril 14, 2025Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, overcoming widower isolation, Coping with death of wife, How to repair broken relationships with a widower, widower lonelinessComment

Your Brothers in Grief Can Help You

We feel so isolated and alone when we begin our grief journey. Not only do we believe no one can understand what we are going through, but we feel unable or unwilling to convey what we are going through to others. We are often desperate to have our wives back in our lives… and find ourselves in a deep void that is beyond our comprehension or ability to explain to anyone…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyMarch 17, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief, widowers asking for helpComment

YOU HAVE OPTIONS NOW! DO YOU WANT THEM?

When you first realize that you now have some unexpected options, you may not want them. They may scare you, embarrass you, or make you feel guilty.

Why? Because during the first few months of grieving the last thing you will want to think about are the choices that lie before you….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFebruary 3, 2025Fred Colby, AuthorCoping with death of wife, healing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How to heal after a spouse dies, widower lonelinessComment

Finding Your New Purpose Helps You Heal

…many of us feel lost and abandoned after our wives pass away. Our sense of purpose is often taken from us and we feel like a rudderless power boat spinning aimlessly on the ocean of life. It is scary, and for many of us, there do not appear to be any answers.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 20, 2025Fred ColbyhWidower Health, healing grief, Grief therapy, overcoming widower isolation, widower loneliness, Stages of griefComment

Surviving the Holidays

How do you steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each may have very different experiences during these special days.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 24, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Widower’s syndrome, widower loneliness, overcoming widower isolation Comments

Charles’ Lessons for Widowers

The surprise celebrity who emerged from the group was Charles, an unlikely romantic figure. Upon first meeting him, he does not strike you as someone who would become the object of affection for so many women viewers!

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 11, 2024Fred Colby, AuthorGolden Bachelor, overcoming widower isolation, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief, widower lonelinessComment

Loving Yourself to Health

Ask yourself: “What would your wife want for you? Would she want you to be circling the drain of self-induced pain and grief, or would she want you to be active, reengaged with life, and continuing to find ways to love and be loved?”

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 16, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, How a widower can keep their relationships, Grief therapyComment

Ignoring the Grief Others Are Feeling

It is easy during the first year or so after your wife’s passing to become so immersed in your own grief that you ignore the grief others are feeling. Let’s face it, during this time our grief is overwhelming! It often blocks out everything else so that we are unaware of much that’s going on around us, even though our survival depends in part on our ability to maintain our most important relationships.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 2, 2024Fred Colby, Authorhealing grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Widower’s syndrome, How a widower can keep their relationshipsComment

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