Should I Date Again?

Once you have made the decision to date again as a widower, prepare yourself for the shock of entering a much different dating scene after an absence of many years…

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJune 26, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorBlogs for widowers, healing grief, When to start dating after death of spouse, widower loneliness, Is a widower ready to date Comments

You Can Heal Now!

If you want to heal to survive this hell-on-earth experience, you will have to grow as a person… as a father, brother, son, friend, and/or community member. If you retreat from the world to stew in your grief and anger, that is where you will likely remain…

Widower Grief Experience, Widower blog, Widower, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJune 16, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, overcoming widower isolation, Death of Spouse, Men’s Grief Groups, Grief therapy, healing griefComment

Father's Day Message For Children of Widowers

If your dad is a recent widower, there are ways you can help him on Father's Day while also strengthening your family relationships. To ignore Father’s Day can be a missed opportunity, and even a mistake that injects another layer of separation between the father and children…

Widower Relationships, Widower Grief Experience, Widower blogFred ColbyMay 30, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, overcoming widower isolation, Widower Families, Behavior of a widower, Father's DayComment

Avoiding Downward Spirals

We often ask, “How can I survive this?” During these times, the siren call of alcohol and drugs may be strong. I was very tempted to drink more, try weed, or take pain pills. I thought this would help ease my pain and let me forget what I was experiencing…

Widower, Widower Self Help, Widower Grief, Widower Grief ExperienceFred ColbyMay 14, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, What is a widower experiencing?, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Men’s Grief Groups, Healing Grief Comments

I Was Supposed to Die First!

Almost every widower I have met, emailed, or spoken to has at some point said this to me. I certainly felt that way after my wife passed in 2015…This sense of feeling that “I should have died before she did” can lead to feelings of survivor’s guilt, as well as deep regret for not being able to “save” her.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyApril 19, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, Behavior of a widower, Widower’s complicated grief, Widower’s syndrome, Death of Spouse, Survivor's guiltComment

When Widows or Widowers Feel Like They Are Cheating – What Do You Do?

When your new widow girlfriend feels like she is cheating on her deceased husband, what do you do? Or maybe you are the one feeling like you are cheating on your dead wife. Are these feelings normal? How do you deal with this without blowing up your new relationship?…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and datingFred ColbyApril 4, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Widower syndrome, Behavior of a widower, Grief therapy, Is a widower ready to date Comments

Dating Game

Are you old enough to remember the Dating Game television show? A man or woman would sit on one side of a screen, while three suitors sat on the other side. The contestant would then ask a series of silly questions designed to bring out responses that would entertain the audience while the contestant tried to figure out which of the three was the best match for a date. Sort of a speed Bachelorette show, only with fewer tears.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and datingFred ColbyMarch 20, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Grief therapy, Is a widower ready to date Comments

Widowers and Self-Punishment

In many cultures and religions, self-flagellation is accepted as an appropriate way to drive the demons, bad thoughts, and immoral behaviors out of oneself. Often, movies depict this with a person whipping themselves with a short whip or leather braids.

Now while we may not resort to this kind of physical purging, we often do participate in a form of self-flagellation which can be just as harmful and self-defeating…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyMarch 6, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, Stages of grief, Coping with complicated grief, Widower syndrome Comments

Our Role Changes After Loss

When our wife passes, we suddenly lose our Home-Life as we knew it. If we are still working, we are often forgiven if we suddenly become buried in our Work-Life. This can be unhealthy and lead to medical, emotional, and mental issues which can spiral into major problems….

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower RelationshipsFred ColbyFebruary 24, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Widower Health, What is a widower experiencing?, Behavior of a widower, Widower Families, Healing Grief Comments

7 Steps Before, During, and After Her Death

You had a romantic wedding, celebrated the birth of children, and got comfortable with your happily-ever-after life. Then tragedy struck and you realized how fragile the human body can be. Suddenly, you faced the prospect of seeing the source of your happily-ever-after life take her last breath…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyFebruary 5, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, anticipatory grief, Widower syndrome, How to heal after a spouse dies, Stages of grief Comments

What is Love Now?

After your wife dies you realize that your concept of love has transformed over the years into something much more powerful and meaningful. To expect that you can replicate that with a new girlfriend after dating her just a few times and within the first year after your wife passes is often illogical.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and datingFred ColbyJanuary 22, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Is a widower ready to date, Behavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, Healing Grief Comment

Grieving's Impact on Family Relationships

After my wife’s death, I became increasingly concerned about my ability to make sound decisions. At times the world around me seemed surreal… and I often wanted to shut the door on everyone and just hide in my grief.

As I began to recognize the impact of these issues on me, I became fearful that I would make bad decisions that might threaten my relationships…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyJanuary 11, 2023Fred Colby, AuthorHealing Grief, overcoming widower isolation, Widower’s syndrome, widower lonelinessComment

Relationship Challenges When Your Wife is Dying

A year prior to my wife’s passing, she began to experience some upsetting physical conditions, including skin rashes and stress. This continued for a while with her unable to determine the cause or to find solutions after visiting a couple of doctors.

Around that time, she began criticizing almost anything that I did….

Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyDecember 12, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Death of Spouse, Behavior of a widower, Coping with complicated grief, Healing Grief, Grief therapyComment

What is My Purpose Now??

One day after a particularly bad night I was driven to take a hard look at myself and where I was going. It was not a pretty picture. After some deep thought and prayer, I came up with a clear purpose statement to guide me going forward…

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 28, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorBehavior of a widower, overcoming widower isolation, widower loneliness, widowed man, Healing GriefComment

Surviving the Holidays

Everyone will start to tell you within a week of your wife’s passing that you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days.

Widower, Widower Grief, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyNovember 13, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Blogs for widowers, widower loneliness, Widower syndromeComment

First-Ever Date? Girlfriend? or Lover?

Was your wife the first woman/girl you ever:

· dated?

· kissed?

· asked to become your girlfriend?

· made love to?

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 30, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower’s syndrome, Is a widower ready to date, Behavior of a widower, widower building new relationshipsComment

Imposters Syndrome – Overcoming Self-Doubts

Robin Williams, Richard Nixon, Oprah Winfrey, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, John Steinbeck, George Washington, John F Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, and many others struggled with their self-esteem and thought themselves imposters at some point during their lifetime.

As widowers, we often experience the same self-doubts.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbyOctober 14, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Widower’s complicated grief, Widower syndrome, Widower helpComment

Widower: God, Football, Sex and Gold Diggers

Sex in particular can entice us away from those long-held beliefs which have served as our foundation for years. In the wrong hands, it can be used to blind us and turn us to less ethical or honorable practices.

Widower Relationships, Widower Self Help, Widowers and dating, Widower blogFred ColbyOctober 6, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower syndrome, widower loneliness, Widower and sex Comments

Accepting Your Partner’s Faults

Many of us who lose a close loved one, tend to idealize them. This is carried to the max when the loved one was your wife of many years. All her faults, bad habits, odd behaviors that drove you nuts, and even those moments of disagreement seem to just disappear.

Widower, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Relationships, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 23, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorStages of grief, Behavior of a widower, Death of Spouse, Idealization of spouse Comments

Do I Need Counseling, Therapy, or Coaching?

If you already have all the answers, don’t waste your time asking others for help… because you won’t be able to hear any advice that is offered, no matter how good it is. However, if you feel lost and are ready to hear what others can share with you, then by all means ask for help… and the sooner the better.

Widower, Widower blog, Widower Grief Experience, Widower Self HelpFred ColbySeptember 11, 2022Fred Colby, AuthorWidower Health, Widower blogs, Widower syndrome, Coping with complicated grief, Men’s Grief Groups, Behavior of a widowerComment

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